Catch Up, vol. II

On December 23, it rained for the second time since I arrived in July. I was elated. Smelling the damp ground and hearing drops pelt the roof felt like magic. In the weeks since, my wonder has converted into vexation, creativity, and general acceptance of something I can´t control. We still receive the occasional sunny day, but most are cloudy (a welcome respite from the scorching sun) and wet (NOT fun when living on dirt roads). In the house we´ve developed entering and exiting rituals to keep our house clean (relatively speaking) and our skin as clear and not-punctured-by-vicious-bugs as possible. Never before have I worn this much bug spray, and can´t help but wonder what unfriendly chemicals invade my bloodstream. Are they actually better than the dengue I´m trying to avoid?

The bugs. First, grillos. Grillos, to quote one insightful ex-vol, are ¨dive-bombing crickets.¨ For two weeks we found them everywhere. In our rooms. In our beds. In our refrigerator. And this is to say nothing of the swarms that encircled the streetlamps. For a few frightful days, we were killing 50 a day. Each. All in the house. Not exactly fun, but an interesting adventure. It reminds me of my folks´ stories about killing cockroaches in Florida. I guess I´ve been spoiled up North, though you folks back home probably read my words enviously from beneath a foot of snow.

Mosquitoes. They´re everywhere, and we have the bumpy, splotchy, astonishingly itchy skin to prove it. Roberto, my favorite guard at the local clinic, gave me his view on their recent invasion: ¨These mosquitos set up a pact with the blood bank. They´re making a fortune.¨ Sleeping under my mosquito net made me feel exotic and special at first, but has become a nuisance, especially when I trap one of my flying foes in with me and I wake up scratching a dozen new bites. Foot bites are the worst, especially the soles. Lately, though, I´ve been less bothered by the mosquitos. Sure, I hate the itchiness, but it´s hard to get that upset about a being as stupid as a mosquito. I used to loathe them. As I´ve paid more attention to them (ie. savagely hunted them nightly before bed), I´ve come to realize that they fly around mindlessly and only bite when they happen to run headfirst into something with skin. They don´t choose to be a pain. They´re just hungry. And dumb. So they bother me, but I no longer actively hate them because it just doesn´t seem fair.

Another big piece of news (right on par with mosquito intelligence) is the recent departure of another volunteer. In late January Santi left Ecuador to return to the States. Santi and I worked together at both our morning and afternoon jobs, so my life has changed dramatically. On a personal level, I´m sad and I miss him. He drove me crazy, but he was a good friend and an endearingly and infectiously goofy force in my life. On a professional level, I´m frustrated because my life has been uprooted, though also grateful because his departure has given me the chance to start some things fresh - a rare opportunity. On both levels, I´m also happy he left because he wasn´t fulfilled here, and that energy also infected me. I have high hopes for his own fresh start, and for the mix CDs he´s going to send me :)

I feel similarly about our community, which is down to 5 from our original 7. The house feels enormous, and will feel even bigger when Andrea leaves in April to start her job. With Santi´s departure, we stopped holding our breath and are now looking and living forward. Dre will leave, but at least we know well in advance. I´m proud of all of us for our recent honesty, communication, and simple goodness since Santi left. Yes, I have high hopes.

Recently all ten of the remaining volunteers went on our second quarterly retreat to a beach town called Ballenita (¨little whale¨). Many thanks to Kevin for his Ecua-side organizing, Rostro USA for sending us a retreat leader, and John Ropar for coming down to guide us. I drew a lot of personal questions and growth from the weekend, but I´m left thinking more about conversations concerning Rostro´s mission here in Ecuador. From the beginning, I´ve been restless about Rostro´s mission statement, which clearly states that it functions to serve North Americans as they experience Ecuador rather than serving Ecuadorians. A year ago, this nearly kept me out of the program, though one tiny clause about helping Ecuas find long-term solutions gave me hope. Now that I´m knee-deep in Rostro, I feel kind of lost. We´re here to be with people, so spending time in the community is the most important things. But we also benefit from knowing how Ecuadorian organizations confront problems, so our morning jobs are the most important. But our after-school programs are consistent from year to year and we started them ourselves, they are the most important. But retreat groups are part of our mission and expose people to Durán, so they are the most important. In summary, I´m doing so many, varied things that I´m not doing any of them well. I have my own thoughts on what´s most important and effective, but I´m not an island - here or anywhere. Got any advice?

Despite my confusion amidst Santi´s departure and my lack of direction (or overabundance of direction) from Rostro, I´m enjoying life here. Friendships keep growing, as long as I give them the time and space to develop. I´m mostly healthy (minus the parasites) and I´ve found a lot of support recently from my Ecua friends, my house community, the AJS folks, old vols who´ve come to visit, my family back home, and of course the Big Guy upstairs. Special thanks to Clare and Darcy!

Today´s prayer intentions: for Santi and Patrick, that they forge ahead and make the lives they need; for Patricia and family´s health; and for all of us walking through Lent, that we do it disposed to change. AMEN!